I’m a great believer in dismissing negativity. There are many individuals who are happy to pull you down and I’ve had this all my life because I am different to others. I don’t fit in to the norm and I have never actually wanted to. Normal, to me always has and always will, equal boring.
My ex-husband is a prime example of negativity. His general negative comments are basically to constantly tell me what a crap mother I am at every opportunity. If I don’t go to parents’ evening for my son as I’m looking after our daughter, I’m crap. If I don’t feed the children when he’s told me he's taking them out for tea, I’m crap. In fact, everything I do, according to him, is crap. I have, however, chosen to ignore his negativity and constant need to pull me down. This, I believe, is his problem and not mine and I stupidly endured this for years during our marriage.
Unfortunately, I have no choice but to be in touch with my ex-husband as we have two kids together so yes, we have to speak. Although, when I say “speak” I’ve blocked him from my iPhone more times than Rocky Balboa blocked Apollo Creed.
I’ve never pretended to be perfect and my ex-husband always feels the need to tell me this. That’s his opinion and truthfully I really don’t care what he thinks. If I wasn’t such a Leo lady I might believe him, as maybe most ladies would when men, especially exes, tell you want they think. I am, however, a Leo lady and anyone who knows me will know, like a Lioness, I will not be brought down easily.
My mum and dad brought me up to be a strong enough woman to believe that no matter what people said about me I was to ignore them. My mum constantly said, 'They’re only jealous’ and I used to think, ‘Jealous of what?’
I had acne at 13 and constantly wore piles of foundation to try and cover the spots up as I could not bear to look at my face. I was called, ‘spotty,’ and ‘ugly,’ by the girls at school, but I chose to ignore their taunts and bullying. I constantly applied all the medications from my GP and the acne eventually cleared up.
My ears stuck out and became more noticeable at 14 and I wore elastic bands around them as I couldn't bear the way they looked. I was called, ‘Dumbo the Elephant' and 'Airplane Girl' by the girls at school. I got my ears pinned back and now my ears are, even if I say so myself, perfect.
At 15, I had eczema all up my left leg and was called ‘scabby legs,’ by the girls at school. My mum took me on a one week holiday to Spain and all the eczema cleared up.
Through all this, yes it made me feel self-conscious but because I had such a supporting family whose mantra was, ‘Never let anyone bring you down,’ I chose to hold my head up high and Keep Moving Forward.
Funnily enough, once all these superficial imperfections cleared up, when I turned 16 I got a modelling job in London to model for a company called Pamplemousse at London Fashion Week. So, flicking two fingers up to the girls who called me all those names I headed down to London to earn some serious cash. Whilst they were all still at school, finding some other girl to bully, I was in the national newspapers. Sorry not Sorry.
We all have to deal with imperfections and flaws. We all have them but it’s how we deal with them that matters. I was bullied at school because of mine. I’m still bullied today, but in a different way. This time by my ex-husband. I do not ever need anyone to validate how sensational I am, but thankfully, I’m now with a man now who never pulls me down. He's my real life Rocky and I am proud to be his real life Adrienne.
He tells me every day how beautiful I am and he tells me every day how much he loves me and everything about me and because of my mum and dad instilling that childhood confidence in me, I believe him. I’m no better than anyone else, but I’m as good as.
I chose to Keep Moving Forward because I’m confident enough to do so but in this age of cyber bullying, of which was non-existent in the 1970’s, I worry for my son and daughter.
Take me Back - copy and paste this link...and listen
(Define Relationship blog by &R)
Courtesy of Rocky Balboa, Sly and Frank Stallone.