In my experience, I’d say no but then each person has their own take on this. I’ve only considered I’ve had three past relationships. Some guys might think I thought otherwise but sorry not sorry I didn’t.
The first was when I was 19, 1989, Summer of Love and it was with a guy called M. M was from Leeds and I met him in a rave club, an illegal after party, everyone high on drugs, except he wasn’t. I was dressed in an outfit I’d cringe at now; green, yes green tracksuit bottoms and a matching green swimsuit with my white unlaced Fox trainers on. You have to be old enough to remember Fox trainers but they were super cool…at the time. M and I went out for a year. He was a typical cool Leeds boy who everybody knew. I was new to Leeds and impressed with his ‘everyone knew him’ status. Everywhere we went we got free entry and VIP passes.
How did it end? Basically I got bored of all the superficial crap and finished the relationship. He was upset and looking back I do understand why.
Are we friends now? No.
We ended up in Court as one night he saw me out with my new boyfriend C. He got jealous, sent his friends over to warn me to leave and me being me refused to leave, so he glassed me. The true colours came out. I got compensation, as at the time I was modelling and he got my talk to the hand not the face.
He did get in touch with me about a year ago i.e. 26 years later and we do chat randomly over iMessage but he’s not one I would want to see again, but wish him well.
Enter C. He was a total wide boy. I was 20. Again a Leeds lad. The bad boy enters my world. He was unemployed, lived on benefits and had no interest in doing anything except spend his dole money on booze. This bad boy appealed to me at the time. His family hated me as I was ‘a posh bitch from Harrogate.’ Did I care? No. I was never going to marry him but we did get engaged. Think of a Christmas cracker engagement ring but he’d spent his whole dole money of £100.00 on this metal ring so I went along with it. I shake my head at the decisions I made but at the time they felt right.
Are we friends now? No.
I called the landlord on flat, handed in my notice, sent C to the pub, rang my bro and within the hour we’d moved all my stuff out and I was moved back to Harrogate before he could even say, ‘Where are you?’
We have never spoken since, although he did try and ring my mum’s a few times after but I refused to speak to him. He did stalk me. He’d wait outside work and follow me. No thanks. America was calling at this time and he was of no interest.
Enter S. I married him. I divorced him and in book number two, Redefine, all will be revealed why. Oh S is a few chapters in himself.
So out of my three exes the only one I stay in touch with is S because we have children together. If we didn’t have our children, then he’d be another definite non-relationship.
There are many reasons why you may have a relationship with your ex. I, however, don’t think it does anyone any good. The ex is the past and unless you have children, what’s the point in dwelling on the past? The past is there for a reason. My three ex relationships have taught me how easy it is to move on when you’re ready to move on. I don’t have any remorse or bitterness towards any of them because I just don’t care enough about any of them. (define relationship blog by &R)